Hi readers,i’m a new writer in here but actually i have been in this forum for about four years a silent reader.
I’m Airi36,i’m a FuuMiru shipper. Now i’ll posting my angsty FuuMiru OS. There are so many grammar mistakes in here cause english is not my native language. Please don’t be too harsh on me
Happy reading and douzo
Why Can’t?
“I'm right here. When you gonna realize
That I'm your cure, heartbreak girl?” – 5 Second of Summer,Heartbreak Girl
I exhaled my breath slowly while glancing at clock. Slowly i looked at the photo frame in the table near my bed. In that photo you smiling brightly who showing that charming dimples. Yeah,you looks so sweet and gorgeous. Makes me want to see it more,do not wanting that smile fades from your face even for once. A vague smile painted in my face,but then slowly fade away and changes with cold look. That thing comes to my mind and makes my mood suddenly changes.
“Why?”
That word comes out from my mouth unexpectedly. I only shakes my head,don’t understand how could this happened to me. Suddenly my phone ringing inside my pocket. Quickly i grab it while try to guessed someone who calls me this time. The certain someone comes in my mind. Yeah,the only one person that makes this easily to guess. I inhaled my breath. Oh,no more. My prediction comes true when i see the caller’s name who written in my phone’s screen. I picked up that call doubtly.
“Moshi moshi?”
“Miru,she cheated on me again..”
Oh,as expected. I believe that a melancholic smile painted in my stupid face right now. I keep quiet for a second. Your cries could be hear from my phone’s speaker,makes sure that you is crying in there right now. A prickling pain comes to my heart as if it get sliced slowly. Really, i can’t let you crying like that. I can’t imagine your sad face who welled up with tears.
Again and again,it keeps happened and repeated again. Like a record who keeps broken. I ended up be quiet alone,as if i’m freeze right at the place where i stand up now. Again and again,you ended up crying and i ended up lying. Cause what you hopes is the contradiction with what i hopes. Cause i’m the sucker for anything that you do.
“Thanks for being a friend.”
The calls finally ends. I quickly sit down on my bed. I glanced at my phone’s screen when my mind out of nowhere. I try to guessed when you will calls me again. Tomorrow,one week later,or maybe ten days later? And i believe it will repeat again.
***
Again and again. We’re going in circles again and again. It keeps happen as if there is no stop. I bite my tongue but I wanna scream out. I really want to talk and stop all of this chaos. You could be with me now. but it’s only my selfish wish. Again and again,you choose her over me. You choose to be with Jonishi Kei,someone who keeps hurt you and makes you grimace in pain. She always treats you badly but you keep come back to her. Here me now,standing in the rain while watching you with her. You’re with her now,sharing the same umbrella and acts like a couple do. In front of me,you let her touch your precious lips with that dirty lips of her. You even kiss her back passionately. You looks so happy to be with her. And all i can do is only watching you. A single tear drops from my eyes. I freeze on my foot,thankfully the rain hides my tears perfectly. No one knows that i’m crying right now. i just watching while let my heart breaking inside. I’m so sad and nothing that i can do.
“She treats you so bad and I'm so good to you it's not fair.”
“Miru...”
Here you go again. You lean on my shoulder while buried your head in my chest. I let my shoulder wet because your tears. Your sobs could be hear in my ears makes me feels sad.
“She cheated on me again Miru,i saw her kissing Kawakami Rena,her so called best friend. I hate her.”
I can’t help but embrace you. I hold your head and caressed it with utmost care. No words can make you calm down right now. and i lost of words to makes you realize that she is not the one for you. It can’t and it won’t works. You’re too blind because your feelings for her,the one who always break your heart.
“You’ve get over her,Fuu..”
That sentence comes out my mouth before i realize it. I looking at you who now erasing your tears with your thumbs. Your eyes looks so red and swollen.
“I can’t,Miru. No matter how many times Kei make me life in pain, I still love her. That’s love.”
You put on your bitter smile,try to make me understand. Try to make me to kill this stupid feelings who i always feels toward you. Try to kill my hopes to make you happy and get over her. When you gonna realize that I'm your cure, Fuu? I feeling like an idiot,telling you what you wanna hear. You're not ready to get over her and it's so frustrating. You won’t realize that i’m the one who always love you,Yagura Fuuko.
“I hope she gonna changes for you,Fuu..”
***
It repeats again. You come back to Kei,as if never learn your lesson. Is that hard for you to notice my presence? I,the one who always keeps an eye for you everytime. Oh,i covering my face with my palms. Suddenly i realize,I am not even worth in your life.
I dedicate this song to you,
The one who never sees the truth,
That I can take away your hurt, heartbreak girl.
Hold you tight straight through the day light,
I'm right here. When you gonna realize
That I'm your cure, heartbreak girl?
I singing that song alone while playing my guitar. Feels the meaning of that song. When you gonna realize it,Yagura Fuuko? That i’m your cure,i’m the one who always stay beside you.
“Hi Miru..”
That certain voices wakes me up from my train thought. I stopped and find the source of that voice. I see you,smiling brightly while moving closer toward me. Yo sit beside me . I’m stunned,get mesmerized by your charm. You looks so beautiful,eveything about you just so perfect in my eyes. Yeah,as a girl you’re so perfect like a goddess. Your fair complexion,your delicate fiture,your shoulder length her hair and that cheeky smile of you. I only can staring at you hopelessly. Kei is so lucky to have someone like you who always take care of her,never want to betray her and of course so in love with her. But sadly,she always makes you cry and hurt you. I envy of her. If only Kei is me. If only you could love me like your love for Kei. I won’t make you hurt like her do.
I’m so selfish. Yeah,i’m so selfish for hoping you to be my girl. hoping that you’ll be mine,but you don’t want me to be yours. It’s vain,it’s useless. It’s an impossible wish. Why do i am hoping for you,someone who don’t feel the same? I can’t forces you to loves me back,right? And i won’t force you to loves me.
“I want you to sing that song again,Miru.”
Once again your voices wakes me up from my daydream. You looking at me with your puppy eyes,wanting me to sing that song for you. Should i let you hear this song? The song who tells my unrequited love toward you? Doubtly,i agreed and start singing. Will you get it,Fuuko? Will you know that the heartbreak girl is you? Will you realize what i feel towards you?
You call me up,
It's like a broken record
Saying that your heart hurts
That you never get over him getting over you.
And you end up crying
And I end up lying,
'Cause I'm just a sucker for anything that you do.
And when the phone call finally ends,
You say, "Thanks for being a friend,"
And we're going in circles again and again
[Chorus:]
I dedicate this song to you,
The one who never sees the truth,
That I can take away your hurt, heartbreak girl.
Hold you tight straight through the day light,
I'm right here. When you gonna realize
That I'm your cure, heartbreak girl?
I bite my tongue but I wanna scream out
You could be with me now
But I end up telling you what you wanna hear,
But you're not ready and it's so frustrating
He treats you so bad and I'm so good to you it's not fair.
And when the phone call finally ends
You say, "I'll call you tomorrow at 10,"
And I'm stuck in the friend zone again and again,
[Chorus]
I know someday it's gonna happen
And you'll finally forget the day you met him
Sometimes you're so close to your confession,
I gotta get it through your head
That you belong with me instead,
[Chorus 2x]
Finally it finished. When i was singing anthusiasm showing on your face. You looks so serious listening to the song. And i was singing seriously while watching every expression who showing in your face. Will you get it,Fuuko? Will you know that i dedicate this song for you? That you’re the only one in my heart? I was singing with the hope that you’ll get the meaning of that song. When it finished you clapped your hands and smiling.
“Wow,you have an angelic voice,Miru. It was so good and i think i’m in love with that song. It’s a sad song but doesn’t sound sad. I really like it!”
Hmm,it’s like you don’t get it. I fake a smile to hides my disappointment. Of course you can’t get it. You don’t love me after all. My hopes for you more and more decreased.
“I’m glad you like it,Fuu..”
***
One day after school ends Kei comes to me and drag me to an empty class. When we arrived in there suddenly she punch me out of the blue. Ouch! I get caught by her sudden attack and her punch hit my face hardly. It leaving a blue marks in my face now. i’m hissed,i want to fight back but she pushed me to the wall and grab my collar.
“Don’t you dare to get close to Fuu-chan! She is my girlfriend! Stay away from her,you jerk!
She gritted her teeth and shouting right in front of my face. I’m smirking,a devilish smile painted on my lips. What the hell? Don’t she realize that the actual jerk is her?
“Make me. Try me.”
Buk! Her punch landed right on my stomach makes me fall down on the cold floor. This time i won’t take her easy. I stand up and attack her by my flying kick. She managed to dodge it. I punch her but she could catch my fish. She don’t know that my left hand also aiming toward her face and it’s landed on her nose. Fresh blood started gushing out from her nose. She looks so angry.
“You’re good,Shiroma. Let’s continue! I’ll crash ya!”
So we continue our fight. Her face already covered by blood and her lips wounded. On the other side some bruise showing in my face and my stomach is so hurts.
“Kei! Miru! STOP!!!!”
A loud scream could be hear from the outside. The doors open and showing your figure who suddenly running to our direction. Your expression is mixed by shock,angry,and sadness. Then,you’re started panicking when you looking at Kei’s bloody face. Your fist clenched and you looking at me with hateful look. For the first time i’ve seen that kind of expression in your face.
“How dare you..HOW DARE YOU DID THAT TO KEI ! I HATE YOU,SHIROMA!”
Yeah,i know you hate me. I’m smiled bitterly while wiping the blood who comes out my mouth.
“Now you know the truth,Fuu. Someone that you thinks is your good friend actually a jerk!”
Buk! My punch landed on Kei’s bloody lips. She hissed and fall down. I know it’s very hurt cause i’d punched her with all of my strength.
“SHIROMA MIRU!”
You screaming and glaring to me as if you will castrate me. I just looking at your figure ironically. Yeah,i deserve all of this after all i do to her. This is not fair.
“It’s okay if you mad at me,Fuuko. But you’ve to know she is the one who attack me first.”
I saying it while pointing toward Kei’s direction. You quickly looking to Kei,introgating her to confirm what i said true or not. You looks scary with your sharp gaze.
“Yes,that’s true.”
Kei stand up and answer your question honestly.
“ Unexpectedly. You’re so cruel,Kei.”
When she heard your comment,she smiled with her cocky smile and looking at me sternly.
“ I just warn her to stay away from you. She likes you,Fuuko. Actually she take care of you because she wants you to likes her back. She is the sucker for anything you that do!”
She raising her voice and pointing her fingers to my direction. Meanwhile you staring at me with an unreadable expression.
“You’re wrong,Kei. Miru is not a someone like that. Your jealousy is unreasonable.
I’m relieved to know that you see me as good person,but i also sad cause you can’t realize that actually my heart beating so fast whenever you’re beside me. Meanwhile Kei smiled sarcastically.
“Don’t you believe me? Oh Fuu,you’re too innocent. She wouldn’t be that good to you if she don’t have any intention toward you. She loves you,Fuuko. If you don’t believe me,ask her!”
You looking at me again. You seemed to be taken aback.
“is that true,Miru? You...loves m-me?”
I can’t answer your question as if my tongue being tied up and my throat choked up. My silence is enough to reveal the truth.
“I can’t believe it,Miru. You’re same like the others.”
Disguise clearly showing in your face. You give me that hatred look.
“Yeah,you’re right and she is right. I’m just a sucker for anything that you do.”
I keep my composure and managed to speak up. This is more worst than a rejection. For the first time i feel like being humiliate. Now i realized that i’m not worthy enough for you. Although i’m the one who always stay in your side whenever you’re sad and troubled,its all meaningless in your eyes.
“I love you,Fuuko. More than you can imagine. I love you and i always wait patiently that you’ll return my feelings. When i see you with her it’s hurts me. I keep this burden,this prickling pain all alone. But now i know,i’m in love with the wrong person.”
I approaching your fragile figure. The subtle scent tickled inside my noistrils,scent that i know belong to yours. I staring at your face carefully,examining your perfect fiture. I’ll remember all of this,buried down this tragedy deep down in my dark memories. I want to see you for the last time. Without hesitation i smashed my lips onto yours. You looks so surprised,your eyes wide open. You’re stunned as if you’re frozen in your foot. When you gained your conscious,you pushed me harsly to the floor.
“Miru...what are you......doing?”
Oh,i had enough. Quickly i grab my bag and leave this place as soon as possible. Before it i managed my sincere smile for you. I wanna see your face for the last time.
“Good bye,Fuuko. Please be happy with her. thanks for all the happines that you’d gave to me,and also this damn broken heart. Take care of yourself .”
I run away and bring this painful feelings alone. Tears can’t stop streaming down from my eyes. From now on i’ll disappear from your life,Fuuko. I can’t believe that loving someone could be this hurt.
How was it? Should i continue it or not?
Please senpai give me critism and comment