Another day at H!P

[YoukaiChica]

That whole conversation between Mari and Tsuji about killing Miki was priceless. You should win an award or something for that.

[lil_hamz]

Risa had a smile on her face.
"Excellent, after that I'll have my chance, perfect."
"What?"
"Nothing Ai! I didn't say anything!"
"Oh! Okay then."

You're a naughty and sneaky girl Gaki~~~ *BUT I SAY GO FOR IT!!!*

Shopping carts are fun! *wheeeeeee*

[erink]

Somewhere along the line, Miki had voiced her feelings about the girls playing baseball. Yuuko took a broomstick from the maintenance store room. Rescue, after having the fear of God put into them by a drunk Saito, was over at the club with mits and baseballs in record time.
The girls were all gathered in the first floor of the club. Yuuko took the broomstick and cracked the end of it on the bar. The force of the blow caused the head of the broom to come off and fly backwards. Yuuko gave out a shocked 'Oh!' and the rest of the girls ducked. The actual broom part of the broom clattered to the ground, leaving a perfect stick in Yuuko's hand.
"Move 'em out!"

[erink]

The girls piled into the alley alongside the club. The club shared the alley with a small grocery store, that had apartments on top. The apartments had rope streched out across the alley and some had sheets, t-shirts, and pants hanging out to dry. The alley was small and narrow, but more than enough to play in. To put it simply it looked like something straight out of the early 1930's in an American city. If you took a look down this alley you wouldn't see young boys frolicking and enjoying America's pasttime. You would see a large number of drunk Japanese women and girls playing the game like never before.

[erink]

Nakazawa was up to bat first. Tsuji was behind the plate and Ai was pitching. Nakazawa stood at the plate. She shook her body, and then confidently nodded to the back of the alley. Some of the other girls standing on the sideline drinking had started the Rakuten Eagles chat, but replaced it with Nakazawa Yuuko-o. The alcohol however, imparied their sense of rythm, so the end result wasn't that impressive.
Crack.
Yuuko conected with the ball. She dropped the 'bat' and leaned over to the other side of home plate to grab her beer. She ran down the line and made it to second base where she triumphantly took a swig. Ogawa stepped up to bat next.  She managed to connect and run a semi-straight line to first base.
Miki came up to the plate. She took the stance of a pro and looked at Ai. She  let the first two pitches go by.
Thrid strike and you're out.
From behind her she heard Tsuji.
"Hey, Miki"
"Hey what?"
"You're going to lose this ball just like your solo career. Quick, painful, and nothing you can do about it."
Miki smirked.
When Ai let go of the ball, Miki swung her bat behind her and connected with Tsuji. Miki kept the bat there and didn't swing at Ai's pitch. She didn't look. The thud let her know the ball hit.
"Hmph." Miki said, still looking toward the field, a playful smile on her face."Guess you were right."
She turned and looked at Tsuji curled up on the ground.
"But at the end of the day, I still have a career. I'm not in limbo!"
Miki pretended to limbo underneath the bat. She tossed it at Tsuji.
"Shoulda learned to stand on your own two feet. Not be 'the other one' your entire life."
From the sidelines the always competitive Nacchi yelled
"Nono! You gotta keep your eye on the ball! What the hell are you doing out there!?"

[erink]

Yuuko was sitting down at second base, drinking.
Kaori was up next.
The girls eagerly awaited this. Kaori wasn't excactly what one would call graceful.
The pitch.
Kaori swung. The force caused her to spin her body around in a circle. She wobbled a bit. And fell down to the ground in front of Tsuji.
Yuuko threw her head back in frustration.
"Kaori! You gotta swing at the ball!"
"There were three of them! I didn't know which one to hit!"
She yelled back from the pavement looking through Ai's legs, at Yuuko.
Oh, the fun of drunk baseball.
"Hit it Kao!"
"I will!"
Kaori went back to the plate. She tried to mimic the way the other girls stood.
"Ready?" Ai asked.
She nodded.
Crack.
Kaori connected with the ball.
Everyone stood in awe, as the ball traced an elegant arch towards the back of the alley. Everyone except Yuuko.
She was charging towards third and was on her way home.
"Kaori! move!"
Kaori was still standing at home plate. Amazed.
Yuuko was coming closer and closer.
"GO!"
Kaori looked at Yuuko, small amounts of beer were flying into the air as she pumped her arms.
Out of sheer terror Kaori started running towards first, away from Yuuko.
As Yuuko came closer to home, Ai got hold of the ball. Tsuji looked at Yuuko and then at Ai. She made a bold move and stood directly over the plate.
The sound the young girl and the grown woman made as they collided at home plate is hard to describe. It was a thud with some yelling and then another sound as they hit the pavement together.
The two were tangled up on the ground.
Yuuko triumphantly thrust up her right hand which still held onto her nearly full beer.

[rndmnwierd]

OMG! I'm gone for a week and this is what I come back too? Massive updates!



......I should leave more often! These are all hilariously great! Drunks are fun!!

[asheravel]

LMAO hahaha playing baseball while you're drunk is more fun ^__^

[erink]

The game continued on. By now it was the third 'inning' if you could call it that. Girls were randomly switching teams and the umpire, Inaba, was being bribed and threatened at the same time.
Kei was up to bat.
Miki was on the mound.
Yuuko behind the plate.
Yuuko didn't posess any sort of special skill that made her qualified to be the catcher. But she sure did have something.
"SA----WING Batta batta SWING!"
Kei shoved the tip of the stick onto the pavement and turned towards Yuuko.
"Do you have-"
The ball whized by her.
"STRIKE!" Inaba called.
"Come on!" She yelled to Miki. "That doesn't count."
Inaba looked at her. Then Yuuko looked up at Inaba.
"Umm, call still stands. 2 strikes. No balls."
Yuuko smiled.
"For the love of God! What are you 5?"
"You're just jealous."
"OF WHAT!?"
"My superior baseball skills."
"SKILLS?!" Kei was getting flustered.
"What skills!? You only look good becaue Miki is a good pitcher. Even then you don't catch half of them! Ogawa's been standing behind you, handing you all the balls you missed!"
"Much like everything else, Kei, jealous certainly does not look good on you."
"You ju-"
Kei's retort was cut short by another ball zooming by her.
"Strike!"
"What the hell!!?"
"Ah! This is why I didn't want Kei on my team!" Nacchi yelled from the side.

[erink]

Nacchi was up to bat.
Aya was over with the other girls, who were busy taunting Nacchi.
Yaguchi pointed to the outfiled where Kamei was.
"Kamei! You better watch it! Nacchi hates turtles!"
The girls laughed.
"ha. ha. Funny guys." Nacchi looked over at them and shook her head.
"Watch out guys, she might try to steal!" Yuuko advised from home plate.
The girls laughed again. Yaguchi noticed Aya.
"Come on, you try! Just go with the flow. You stick out to much when you're with us. Just let go and give it a try."
"O...kay."
Aya took a deep breath.
"here we go." She closed her eyes then yelled. "Your last single sucked!"
Everyone stopped moving. Maeda froze in the proccess of taking another drink. Miki looked over from the pitchers mound.
Yui was the first to speak. She spoke very quitely, but you could hear a pin drop in that alley. She provided everyone with this lovely comentary.
"Bitch is gonna die!" She draged out the e and made it high pitched.
"What did you say?"
Aya froze. She didn't know what to do.
Inaba, one of the girls around from the begining acted on her feet.
"PLAY-"
Yuuko cut her off and imediately added 'Station'
The girls started laughing again.
Nacchi turned around to the plate.
"Yeah, well at least I'm still not on an N64!"
Yuuko stood up, and the two girls went face to face. Well as much as they could with the height difference.
"You want me to kick you out of Morning Musume!"
Both girls paused and gave each other a confused look. Their tones changed from furious to calm.
"But... I'm not in Morning Musume. You're not either.."
"I knew that.... I ment Hello Pro. Pro."
The girls went back to their positions and the game started again.

[rndmnwierd]

Lol, poor Inaba. And drunken annoying Yuuko. Isn't Miki drunk, too? How can she pitch so well if she's intoxicated? Aya's so bad at insults. I could just see her, "Um, I'm sorry. But you're kinda an idiot.... Sorry." She seems so sweet.

[erink]

Erika was up to bat. She had a lot to prove. She was still ' one of the girls with Rika'. Some of the older members would always introduce themselves whenever she showed up to a taping or recording because they thought she was new. Tonight was her chance. Her chance to fit in and be one of the girls. The cart race was a good start, but the baseball game could be the end. If she did good here, the rest of the night wouldn't matter.
Erika steped up to the plate. She got ready and nodded at Miki.
The pitch was fast. All of Miki's pitches were. The only thing she could do was hope. Hope that maybe-
Crack.
The bat and the ball connected.
Erika imediately smiled as the ball went through the air.
Thud.
She dropped the bat to the ground.
Crash.
The ball hit one of the apartment windows.
All the girls stopped and listened to the shaterring sound.
"That..." Erika pointed to the window "still counts right?"

And so the girls started there heated debate over what counted and what didn't.

[erink]

How can she pitch so well if she's intoxicated?

Yeah, they are all drunk except Inaba, Risa, and Ai. Some of the others like Eri and Sayumi aren't really drunk. Plus some of the girls can hold there liquor well. When I say good and stuff, I mean good considering the fact they are all varying levels of intoxicated.

[rndmnwierd]

Yeah, they are all drunk except Inaba, Risa, Ai. Some of the others like Eri and Sayumi aren't really drunk. When I say good and stuff, I mean good considering the fact they are all varying levels of intoxicated.

Okay, thanks.

Yay for Erika's window smashing hit!

[erink]

One of the first rules of Kana was to always be prepared. Luckily there was a kickbase ball one of the girls stole from practice in Saito's 'every single random thing we could probably might need bags".

The rules were modified a bit with the change of equipment. Now a player could be hit with the ball for an out. The first few batters realized that this completely changed the game. Of course the big pink ball was easier for you average drunk girl to take a swing at. But the size of the ball ment it didn't really travel far. You had to hope you got it to bounce.

"Finally! Having Yui on the team 'ill pay off." Yoshizawa said.
"How do you figure?" Yuuko asked, hands on her hips.
"She can get the ball with her" She was gestureing to her chest area. "just hang onto it. I've seen the Metro videos!"
Someone in the group(Mari) had the brilliant idea of letting Aya play this inning. At this point it was hard to tell if she was trying to help, or trying to get a good laugh. Most girls deduced it was a combination of the two.
Nacchi held onto the rubber ball.
"Well, at least I have a big target to hit."
Aya kept the same nervous expression on her face. It had been there since she had made her attempt to 'fit in'.
Kaori laughed. She pointed to Aya .
"ahaha....She called you fat...."
Miki came from behind Aya and put her hand on her shoulder. She moved her head in closer to Aya.
"There's going with the flow, and then there is going head first over a waterfall to a rocky bottom."
"Can't you do something?"
"Even if I wanted to, I really don't think it would help."
"Wait, what do you mean IF you want to? You don't?"
"I love you. I really do. But it be pointless. I'd stick up for you, and then they'd just kill both of us. What good would that do? I mean, two of the most amazing singers to ever grace this earth dying? That be horrible. I'll mourn for you, really. I really will. But someone has to carry on. Keep GAM alive."
"But...But if I die it would just be GM. Great Miki."
"It's always just been Great Miki, Tsunku just hasn't been on the same program as the rest of us."
"You'd let me die to have your solo career back?'
Aya moved her eyes away from the alley so she could see part of Miki.
"Why? Why was there a pause!?"
Miki shoved Aya towards the plate with her other hand.
"Well, looks like you're up to bat. Good luck!"
When Aya went up to bat, some of the girls started singing 'Ne-ee' The Kana '06 edition. It was only a few lines of the song. 'It' was ocasionally replaced with 'she', sexy with dead, cute with burried. Being drunk brought a whole new level of creativeness to some of the girls. But the rythm problems still remained.

[erink]

The game continued on, and so did the insanity. Durring one play, Ishikawa tried to hit the runner, Mai, with the ball, but completely missed. The ball bounced off the wall of the club, came back, and hit Rika. One time up on the mound Miki accidently threw her drink instead of the ball ("opps, wrong one!").Sometime after that Kaori fell, on her way to second base. She didn't get up and move to the plate. She had the plate move to her. Now first and second were less than a meter away. Runners trying to round the bases had trouble stoping on time, especially when people like Shibata weren't paying attention. This resulted in more collisions. But when you're drunk, you are invincible right? So the game proceeded without many injuries. It's not that they didn't get them. It's just that they would deal with them latter.

When the girls had finally finished, they heard a familar sound.
Sirens.
The girls looked at each other.
The broken window, the yelling, the swearing, the nudity(only for one inning). Someone called the police.
The girls imediately left for the next club.

[Elle_Driver]

Finally I was able to catch up on your new chapters! I really wanted to quote ALL the funny scenes but if I had to quote them all, my post would probably be almost as long as the whole story 'cause everything that you write is so damn hilarious.
I love it, I love it, I love it!

But I couldn't resist to quote at least a few of those scenes that made me lmao

"But...But if I die it would just be GM. Great Miki."
"It's always just been Great Miki, Tsunku just hasn't been on the same program as the rest of us."
"You'd let me die to have your solo career back?'
Aya moved her eyes away from the alley so she could see part of Miki.
"Why? Why was there a pause!?"

One time up on the mound Miki accidently threw her drink instead of the ball

the nudity(only for one inning)

 those little jokes and details are great

Kaori laughed. She pointed to Aya .
"ahaha....She called you fat...."

:ROTFLMAO:
I can totally picture those scenes in my mind, especially those Maeda Yuki drinking moments, they are too damn funny.
More of it, pleeeeaaase!!

[uverkuu]

great story. keep up the good work. looking forward to read the next chapter of the games.

[JFC]

Yui was the first to speak. She spoke very quitely, but you could hear a pin drop in that alley. She provided everyone with this lovely comentary.
"Bitch is gonna die!" She draged out the e and made it high pitched.

Yui - Bitch is gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

:ROTFLMAO:

[rndmnwierd]

You just keep churning out chapters like butter. Too bad the heat keeps ruining their fun. Will someone be arrested before Kana ends?